The sorry life of the average GPS….

8 12 2010

Do you ever wonder about the poor woman who dictates directions in your little directional machine?  We’ve all become so dependent on her – like our mom, we rely on her to tell us which way to go, where things are, what we should be doing. But we treat her like our mom, too, ignoring her when we’d rather go a different way, or deliberately switching directions just to drive her crazy and hear her muttering:


“When possible, make a legal U-turn”

“Turn left in 100 meters….recalculating…”

And laughing merrily when she gets things wrong.

I imagine sometimes she may just want to get a martini or five and leave us to our own devices, or direct us all over town, while chuckling to herself in her metallic way.

“Turn left on main street in one kilometer.”

“But it’s a one way street! I can’t do that!”

“Recalculating…” “turn left on sidewalk in 900 meters”


(hic) “Hit pedestrian in 5 meters…”

Of course, many of us just blindly obey the machine voice, even when she makes no sense. Someone listened to her and drove into a lake. Others end up in the middle of fields. You can’t tell me that wasn’t deliberate on her part. She was just tired of endlessly “recalculating”.

Who among we parents can’t relate to that?




One response

8 12 2010

My British born Sargent Majored voice bitch damned near drowned me when looking for I-93 in Quincy last week. She told me to keep going ‘off road’ as we faced the deep blue of the harbour. But I must admit her British accent cuts through the static of the traffic like a hot sword in the margarine. And my passengers always ask why I chose her, giving me an occasion to talk my head off. Pierre


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