Flash Freeze warning

14 02 2011

So the weather folks say for today in Ottawa – and I can’t help thinking how very apropos for the high stress, expectations created by greeting card companies, Valentine’s Day festivities.

I feel for the poor guys today.  It seems like today there is really nothing they can do that’s right.  Either they are too romantic and become silly, or they are not romantic enough and get the blame for not being in love enough. For me, I think the whole “love on a certain day” thing is ridiculous, and I think that love is best shown in little ways, rather than the big gesture. Talk and presents, even if expensive, are cheap. What matters is the day to day ongoing love that takes out the garbage, cleans out the tub, listens to work stories, smiles at secret moments, curls around you when you least deserve it.

Women don’t have it easy on Valentine’s Day, either. They have to be ready to respond to whatever their love interest produces, no matter how inappropriate or overwhelming or underwhelming. If they care for the fellah, they have to be prepared to smile at whatever and be grateful.  If they aren’t sure about the fellah, they have to figure out how to let them down gently and extricate oneself from expectations. Lots of women get angry. But it’s partially our own fault, for imagining things to be much bigger, more flowery, than they really are. And it’s partly both people’s fault, for not clarifying a relationship until a Hallmark moment requires it.

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