Just had a lovely breakfast with one of my favorite people this morning. I can’t believe that it won’t be too long until I’m no longer down the street from her – she’s been a rock, a support to me in my various life transitions. We’ve laughed over challenges and acquaintances and silly things, talked about serious ideas and politics and literature. We’ve even seen violent movies together, freezing together in the subterranean level chill of summer air conditioning while watching winter in Sweden. I’m going to miss her so much I haven’t really allowed myself to think about it. I simply adore her and am probably a pest wanting to get together with her, but I love talking with her, enjoy outings so much together. We’ve discovered Merrickville, rocked Perth, been outrageous in as many places as we can. It’s wonderful.
The world is smaller these days, but I’ve got to say, those woods through New Brunswick just seem to be getting bigger. Trees and trees and trees and trees. It seems excessive. Getting across our vast country is a challenge at the best of times, and let’s face it, a lot of the year, it just isn’t the best of times for travel. I feel saddened leaving the friends I’ve made in Ottawa, can feel the tug of a special few that I can’t quite face saying goodbye to as yet. I’m excited about the move, excited about seeing folks I know down east, but goshens, Auntie Em, why haven’t they invented transporter beams so we can flip from one place to another easily? I want both – my wonderful Ottawa chums and my wonderful NS apartment and the sea.
I feel like a piece of Velcro – stuck here with myself cuddled in close to those I love, only to rip myself away and wander un-matched for a while. It’s a bit scary. It’s a bit thrilling. It’s happening soon. I’m torn with wanting the departures to be over, and wanting them to last forever. Saying goodbye is tough, even if it is really au revoir – it’s just the revoiring is sometime in the future, as yet unspecified.
I’ve been so lucky to have these wonderful people in my life. We’ve been separated before and kept the relationship going – I hope this can happen again. I’m just going to have to make it work. Because they fill my heart, and I miss them already.