unformed

20 05 2011

I’ve been feeling for the longest time now that I am on the edge of a story.  For a while there I was having terribly lucid dreams, waking with my jaws clenched or in the middle of a scream – now that isn’t happening, but I feel like there are words in the dark corners of my mind – a long tail, as it were, and I just have to find it and pull and the story will spin out like the yarn from a ball.
But I can’t find the end. Every once and awhile I think I see it, my fingers reach out, and then I find it’s a dust bunny or a spider leg or something that no doubt needs to be tidied up but probably won’t lead to anything more than perhaps a blog entry.
It’s frustrating.
Part of it is being in this new place and feeling hesitant to go and explore because of lonely dog and because I am, frankly, quite broke after the move and the unexpected taxes and such. I go out a-wandering here and there but somehow my days are getting away from me and they pass in a blur. Endlessly walking the dog helps – he’s on a special diet for his bladder stones that makes him have to go pee, so he pees and pees and pees. And it’s been rainy and grey and uninspiring to mosey around in – plus my legs haven’t been working all that well. Whine whine whine.
So I scothrop about for the tail of the story and hope to find it while I knit like crazy and fuss about. (http://gustepa.livejournal.com/18896.html)
And get nowhere fast.
So I’ve set myself a goal, another contest to enter, and now I know I must put fingers to paper or keyboard quickly. Because I’ll need to write and rewrite my entry so it will be good. Now, where is that yarn tail…?

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