I was in the drugstore looking for something to help me cope with this dratted pain I’m living in, thanks to MS and a body that needs paring – and after talking to the pre-teen pharmacist, I did my usual wandering among the things-I-don’t-really-need-but-which-make -me-feel-special aisles. I already have enough shampoo to wash an entire flock of bonobos and make them smell ooh sooo good, and I have skin softening cream and peppermint foot cream and leg energizing spray and even some insta tan which turns my legs an enchanting shade of orange. And eye shadow and lipstick? I already have four containers of exactly matching colours and I know it was hopeless to try to persuade myself to buy an alternate shade. So what was left? Nail polish, of course.
I pounced on some pale lilac colour stuff, thinking loving thoughts about my toes in glorious lavender. And then, wandering on, I found Revlon, Post Trauma Nail Treatment. I just had to have it. Who knew a nail polish could help you cope post-trauma? It’s obviously like that naturopathic remedy, arnica… So, since I am suffering a bit of post-manfriend-breakup trauma, I knew it was exactly what I had to have. Heaven knows chocolate and wine hadn’t done the trick.
The ads say:
“When your nails are recovering from neglect or a traumatic event, turn to Revlon’s Post Trauma Nail Treatment for a healthy dose of strength. Bring your nails back to life with Revlon!”
Since I always assumed my nails were dead, I thought this fit the zombie zeitgeist (always wanted to use that word), and since my nails often stand in for spare screwdrivers and snacks for Dora, my parrotlet, and also since I am feeling a bit traumatized here and there, I grabbed a bottle. I am so looking forward to the healthy dose of strength. I have some furniture that needs moving later.
I even found a YouTube video of someone showing how to apply the product onto some really really long nails because she was so depressed about how short her nails were.
Can’t wait. Such an easy solution. Therapy, hah! I have nail polish!