Total Recall


Just went to see this movie, craving the air conditioning of a movie theatre and some desperate shooting type action, preferably done by some handsome irish man. I got everything I wanted. Not anything else, mind. No real plot, no sensible storyline, and character development sliced into the gunshot scenes like very very thin slices of cucumber in a sandwich.

Parts were quite funky. The women were real participants, though the one who ended up as the love interest, perhaps (for WHO REALLY KNOWS?) seemed to need more rescuing than strictly necessary since she did serious bad-ass fighting scenes all over the place. The bad woman was fierce and possessed, but really only annoyed because the main character was “always the favourite”. Again the spoiled little girl whine thing…

But at least both of them were independent and tough, and wore sensible shoes, something I look for now that I’ve read the excellent “How to be a Woman” by Caitlin Moran. She points out how unfair it is that women have to wander the earth in painful shoes that really only work when sitting or lying down, while men get away with comfy shoes all the time. She also urges us to buy shoes we can run away in, which has always been my philosophy (to my mother’s annoyance). PS: everyone should read Moran’s book – it’s wonderfully funny and yet rich with wisdom.

The premise of the movie, if you aren’t into science fiction, is that memories can be implanted and we don’t know what’s real. Not news, really. I have a delusional memory that early parenting was fun and games, for example. I’m sure someone wedged that in there when I was not sleeping one day.

There was also some stuff about exploitation of the periphery, also not news even back when the short story was written (‘We Can Remember It For You Wholesale’ by Philip K. Dick). Can you say colonization, people? Sweatshops? Evil Empire?

And lots of dark, post-apocalyptic scenes which exploded in desperation throughout the movie. Lots of rain, too. Robots. Non-emptying guns. Also nothing new. I particularly like these movies where people fall off huge buildings, etc. and then walk away with nothing but an artistic scratch to be dabbed at with rags. This time (spoiler alert), the main characters manage to walk on the outside of the machine that shoots people through the earth core in 17 minutes.

Yeah. And then they fight and such, with barely a body part out of place. Hair is slightly tussled, but only in a sexy way.

I don’t mind suspending disbelief, and get a good chuckle out of movies where the hero jumps out of a plane and through several glass panels and then gets up and walks away, but this was truly beyond the pale. If they didn’t fry right away in the magma, they’d have been smooshed flatter than the beetle I stepped on the other day. And considerably less tidy.

But no.

It isn’t done, but I also snorted to myself when they joined the rebels and were awarded their Matrix-copy long leather coats. Without even going shopping! These are obviously routine wear for the disenfranchised. Keep your eyes peeled for them on the street. In mid summer.

Well, it passed the time and it was cool inside the theatre and I hadn’t brought anyone else with me so I didn’t have to feel apologetic for my choice. Sometimes going to the movies alone is a blessing. Though it might have been fun to have someone to snigger at this one with me.

Best part about the movie? I doubt I will be able to remember it tomorrow. So much for total recall.