I have recently discovered how terribly, terribly shallow I actually am.

My partner, Tim, is in a play, “The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas” playing at the Dartmouth Community Players for the month of November. It looks like a hoot, and I’m so glad he’s doing it.

For his part, as part of his costume, he got his hair cut into a mullet. A MULLET!

I dunno. I’ve never been able to understand the appeal of this “business in the front, party in the back” hairstyle. It seems like it can’t decide what to be. It removes at least 40 IQ points and sends you about in a haze Country and Western theme music.

So every time I look at the poor guy, I find myself shuddering. It’s so so shallow of me. He’s the same man, I’ve seen him in all sorts of iterations and he’s the sweetest fellow ever, but there’s something about the hair…

Of course, I should be careful. I’ve been known to have some pretty unusual haircuts myself, and he saw me thorough the growing out of my hair dye, which was pretty scary. If I were a good girlfriend, I’d be supportive.

I’m trying. I hardly ever avert my eyes anymore. After all, I can’t go averting my eyes every time he comes home. I’m trying to avoid tripping and falling into things, and, besides, it might hurt his feelings…

Hmm. I suspect I already have. Here’s what he posted to me today…

And now a little number from Elton John (or Shatner…)

She warned me earlier, before
To watch the look I have
But I’m gonna be dressed just right, for the play
I miss the earth so much, I miss my life
It’s lonely with this trim
Sad are the connotatons of this cut 

And I think it’s gonna be a long long time
Till grooming comes around again to mind
It’s not the man they see, they see the hair
Oh no no no I’m a mullet man
Mullet man shaking out his long locks here alone

Bars ain’t the kind of place to go like this
In fact, I hide at home
And the one who’s there does tease me, about my clip
And all this fashion, I don’t understand
It’s just my art, five days a week

And I think it’s gonna be a long long time

Till grooming comes around again to find
It’s not the man they see, they see the hair
Oh no no no I’m a mullet man
Mullet man shaking out his locks up here alone

See why I love this guy?

Now, where are those scissors….