I’ve been feeling creatively dry of late, unwilling to try new tasks or complete others, stymied by the MS and Intimacy book, wanting to see progress in some area of my life.
I hate this. I bore myself. Can’t stand being boring. Sit about thinking boring thoughts. Hate myself more.
Wander aimlessly through life, slogging here and there, grey. Look at my projects. Look away. Let dishes pile up.
It feels a lot like depression, but that’s fooled me before. In reality it means I need spiritual filling.
It’s a bit like having a peanut butter sandwich without enough peanut butter. You can eat if, but it isn’t pleasant, and you kind of wish you hadn’t.
So, to extract myself, I need:
– small goals – the course I am soon facilitating talks about “action plans”, things you can implement that are doable with a certain degree of certainty. I’ve decided my goal is to revise the outline for my book to make it shorter, punchier. Less preachy, more fun. Less work, too. More pictures. I’m wondering what sort of animal we should use to replace people for positioning. Maybe stick people with additional parts. Hee hee.
– input – I met my co facilitator for the Your Way to Wellness program and he’s an interesting fellow. We met in my fave cafe, Cafe Brea, where I replenished myself with delicious coffee and a tasty maple oatcake. I am replete and a tiny bit over caffeinated. Melita has classical music playing in the background, there’s gentle conversation all about, and everyone is smiling. My heart is cheered.
– something to look forward to – I’m off on a friend and family tour of Ontario next week. While I hate to leave NS in summer, I am so looking forward to reconnecting with old chums (and meeting a new one) I can’t wait. Plus I am child enough to relish the thought of plane rides. I haven’t flown enough for them to be boring yet. AND I’m hoping to get as a rental car one of those little FIATs – poop poop! I envision myself a la Mr. Toad of Wind in the Willows, endangering man and beast as I swoop about.
– the ocean – I had a good friend come with me to a beach the other day. He was too chicken to put his toes in the water, but I did – it is 2 seconds to ache still, but it is, after all, the great and magnificent Atlantic Ocean and can hardly be expected to meet we small mortal’s demands for warmth.
My bucket is filling, slowly but surely. Tiny steps, smiles, and laughter. It’s a wonderful world out there….