Had a recently met fellah tell me that he was amazed at all the wonderful women out in the world and that he wondered if men were keeping up.

Answer: no.

I believe there are so many wonderful women out on the dating sites because you men are NOT keeping up. You might look at stepping up your game. Especially if you want to keep us.

I say all this with affection and a little bit of exasperation. I’ve met a lot of wonderful men over these second-time-round dating years and it’s been entertaining, interesting, and sometimes a bit scary.

If you ever wonder why we women are becoming more hesitant and less open with you guys, perhaps it’s time to look inside.

We really don’t want to hear about your crazy ex. Trust me, we know that if she was crazy, part of you either likes that or causes it. Either – not good. Come to terms with that relationship before you start another.

We don’t scope you out for money resources. We do want to know you can handle money like a responsible adult. Many of you are looking for someone to feed and house you. What’s in it for us? Not anything we want or can’t get elsewhere.

We’re not therapists. Deal with your issues before you go a-hunting. Come to us relatively whole and we’re thrilled. I’m a nurse, for heaven’s sake, and I’ll be darned if I am going to do psychological counselling for free.

We don’t stalk you if things don’t go well. That’s just creepy and potentially a chargeable offence. When things are over, let them be over. Unless you’ve established a friendship, let her go, man.

We don’t take one look and discard you. Maybe you could try that, too. I know a guy who dropped a lass he was quite deeply involved with because there was something “not quite right with her face”. It wasn’t bad enough to make him not sleep with her, though. I suppose he kept his eyes shut.

Ach, I am sounding bitter, and that’s not me. I adore several of the men I’ve met, and many are good friends. But every once and awhile I wish a contender for something more might appear.

And then I am disappointed, and look into cats. Not the same, yes, but feeding them is easy, they keep a bed warm, and they purr.

PS: I know all of this can go for any gender. We all need to be more grown-up out there. Be kind to each other.