I spend a lot of time NOT writing.
A LOT.
It frustrates even me. I vowed to focus on writing from September to December and see what I could get done in that time period but I’m flagging already and it’s at least another 2 weeks to December.
My plan was to end up with the start of several things to revise, things I could work on in the gloomy months of January to March before springing springlike into the publishing world in April.
See, these plans are just not working.
When I write, and I get immersed in my little world, I’m amazed what comes out of my head. Some of it seems actually okay. Most of it needs heavy heavy revision.
But my resistance to getting started is growing by leaps and bounds.
It doesn’t help that I live surrounded by many many books I want to read, all of which are better written than I could do.
It doesn’t help that sitting for prolonged periods isn’t great for me (or anyone else), or that it usually sends me off to sleep, perchance to dream, but definitely not to type.
It also doesn’t help that the thought of all the fiddling around to get published doesn’t appeal. The query letters, the sending books around on visits, the waiting, the editing, the fussing. I don’t think I have the interest anymore.
I wish I did.
But it seems wasteful, sometimes, when there are many other things I want to do.
I know I can be a powerful writer. But perhaps there are other ways to use this. I’m writing for Amnesty again on December 10th, for example. I can and do write letters to the editor, comments to the CBC, letters to elected officials.
But the other stuff feels like dithering, and I’m boring myself. I sit at the computer to write, and lose focus almost immediately. I’d rather be exercising or rug hooking or doing anything that involved my body, rather than my head. Or immersing myself in the writing of others.
There’s so much still to learn and know.
But am I simply resisting what I should be doing?
If so, I’m getting pretty darn good at it.
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DA's Ephemera and Etceteras 
Oh, DA…I agree so whole-heartedly! You’ve echoed what I’ve been feeling for the past month or so. So many other things I want to do – sew, knit, crochet, quilt, even clean house – and I seem to waste time at the computer, with nothing productive to show for it.
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You want to write the kind of books you love to read, right? Well, those writers probably went through the same ups and downs that you are experiencing. They also lived life so they would have something to write about. And they told themselves stories. Sometimes those stories were just daydreams, but eventually they started writing them down…for themselves.
If you have a story that takes you away from the real world then write it, for yourself. One day, when you’re ready, and the story is ready, you can think about publishing. By then this transition phase in publishing will have sorted itself out a bit more and you will have some clear choices – traditional publishing, indie [self] publishing, something in between. The possibilities are endless, and not as hard as you may think.
For now though just write whatever you feel passionate about. The rest will follow in its own good time.:)
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I think that we need to communicate. If we go too long without being published it is like endulging in a one way affair — eventually you just get too depressed and frustated to go on with it. Writers (in my thoroughly unprofessional opinion (like artists and musicians)) need someone (s) to show their work to. Ideally, someone who has at least half an interest in them needs to read their work — not necessarily to either criticize it OR to praise it but just to hear it and respond genuinely. So, DA before you give up in isolated despair, go find some someones to share your work with; could be a trade where you read their’s. Or could even be me if you ever feel that you are willing to share work that isn’t polished as much as you feel it should be. — carol
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Ah Carol, I do share my writing. I don’t sell it, but I have a good group of reviewers here and there. Not isolated, just resistant! But thanks for the offer – much appreciated!
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