Is my body trying to kill me? Or is there something bigger afoot?

zombie-cheerleader-costumeJust found out I have developed my 4th autoimmune, self-destructive disease, adding diabetes to hypothyroidism, multiple sclerosis, and osteoarthritis.

I seem to be inflamed everywhere.

At first, I was blue. I mean, how many diseases can one body take? And how do I manage diabetes with osteo exercise with MS fatigue with whatever else my body has taken a dislike to that day….

I blame the kids, of course – gestational diabetes with all three, thyroid burned out by the second one, MS present after the third. And all of this wouldn’t have happened if my genetics hadn’t made me a. Short and b. Chocolate addicted.

In reality, it’s mostly my fault, mixed with a bit of bad luck, but sometimes I think whoever manages this life is trying to keep me honest.

Gave me MS so I learn to appreciate every day, so I am released to live an artist’s life, so however I define myself, nurse, parent, writer, friend, has to undergo daily adaptation. It’s hard to take things for granted, something I’ve been guilty for in the past.

Gave me bionic knees so I’d understand pain and the relief of same, so I’d have to take better care of myself and HAVE to exercise everyday or pay for it immediately.

Now gave me diabetes, so I’d have to eat properly, look after myself better, and exercise more.

See, I’d think it was a murder plot except all of these (save the knees) have been detected early enough so I can do things about them. Heck, I can probably even beat this diabetes thing if I work at it.

So maybe these are heaven’s gentle (or not) remonstrances to live the life I should, to cherish it, to honour it.

i have been unspeakably fortunate to live in this world, at this time, with enough money to get by and perhaps have a treat or two. I am incredibly grateful. And the kids who killed my immune system? They are my favourite bits.

So, these corrections? It’s not right to mourn. It is right to learn from them, live healthier, be better.

Onwards ho, with a grateful stagger…

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