I’ve always loved Despair.com. In the times of my life where things look gloomy enough that all you can do is laugh, they are helpful. They start things off.

One of my kids used to laugh at them all the time but now has vowed to intake only positive stuff as the world is quite depressing enough…

But sometimes I find their pithy statements hit the mark. This one, for example. I think it applies to me trying all sorts of things and failing spectacularly.  Or just quietly.

We won’t talk about the Fetal Alcohol Syndrome public health campaign that we arranged to start on September 11. Yep, that Sept 11. The old 9/11. $6000 in the toilet. We could have given that to a food bank and fed people for months, but instead we spent it on advertising that didn’t reach a single person, reeling in horror as we all were.

Oh shoot. I just talked about it.

Or my experience in management, over which I solemnly draw the sign of the cross. Best dead and left. I, the ultimate people pleaser, was told I wasn’t good with people! Me? Well, yeah. Unfortunately I don’t suffer fools gladly. Add my lack of filter (caused by the MS and general family inheritance) and I sometimes said the wrong thing. A lot. Note bullet holes in gravestone…

In my defence, I was managing doctors. More like a clump of feral pallas cats than anything else.

So, now I’m learning how to publish books. Or trying to. Seems to me my first book, “Recycled Virgin” might have some difficulty finding a home as I feel certain it will offend someone, probably a lot of someones, but there you are. Apparently I am good at offending people. May as well cater to my strengths.

I am girding my loins to dip into the fearsome water of making covers, designing the interiors, picking the formats, trying to wrestle my stuff into this shape and that, and then arranging the launch, doing publicity, etc. It seems complicated. I’m hoping my MS doddled brain can absorb what I need to do but if not, I can always just hand it over to the grown ups, pay my money, and get it out there anyway.

But I want to figure it all out. Because offensive book #1 is part of a trilogy.