Flight Risk

In 2007, a dear friend and poet, Bob Mackenzie, wrote this lovely piece for me... Flight Risk Her soaring thoughts bear her up on gossamer and hard realities, her wings carry me with her to another place only her mind can take mine and with her I soar upward as I've never soared. "I am…

In the year twenty-five twenty-five…

I was in my dentist's office yesterday, having my broken tooth repaired and thinking about bits falling off, the inevitability of aging, how someone told me it was all downhill from 60, etc etc. Underneath is the constant current of Trump/Ford/reactionary right/fascism/etc like a monotone in a discordant note. You know, like most of us…

Oh,​ Fearful Age! Or, making a big deal about a dying tooth…

Well. They told me that it was all downhill after you turned 60. So I've been into some heavy maintenance. Under eye cream to hide my ghastly fatigued look (which shines in a most unholy way against my Canadian pre-summer froglike skin). Wearing makeup semi-regularly. Whitening my teeth. Contemplating a manicure and pedicure.  I've been…

“Life can’t just​ be about solving one miserable problem after another…”

  "There have to be reasons why you wake up in the morning and are excited to be alive." Bless you Elon Musk, and Space Ex. And to my friend Larry, who gave me the link to watch this - somehow Id missed it, streaming Netflix or watching TV and skipping the news (Because who…

The 3 AM re-evaluate your entire life tango

  It's a gentle quiet night here. I pull off my various appliances of old age and creeping infirmity and toddle off for my "woke up so may as well pee because you know you will need to in a minute anyway". My CPAP machine continues to hiss and disturbs the cat (who has taken…

A History of Jacke in 100 Objects #8 – The Burger Car

Jacke Wilson is my superhero. I’m addicted to his History of Literature podcast, and am ashamed to think that I have only now set out to find his blog, which is brilliant, as per below. Would love to have him over for dinner, or better still, set out on an explore of literary London with him and the thinky son. My darling children, who I hope think of me as at least a chocolate chip cookie if not a madeline, these parental thoughts match mine when raising you. Off to buy Wilson’s books, whoever he truly is…

Jacke Wilson

Home from traveling, I jump into the gray Corolla. I’ve been a Five Guys Dad lately, flying to Los Angeles for work and back home on weekends to take the boys to soccer and movies and the library and their favorite restaurant. It’s not an ideal way to parent, but what can you do? My job requires it, and my life requires my job.

As usual, I’m first. As I wait, the smell inside the car rises up and makes me shudder. Old burgers and fries. The smell of a grill, the smell of grease. I do not feel like I do when I’m on a sidewalk and the hot fumes coming out of a bar make me hungry and eager to go inside. This smell is stale and disgusting and I hate it.

I’ve never liked this car. I was forced to buy it in a hurry (two cars in two days) when…

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Relocating a purpose

I went to meet up with some of my most vibrant, involved women friends last week. They are getting older, easing into their late 80's, but they are still so heavily involved in their communities, in politics and environmental conservation, teaching, and learning. They inspire me every time I see them. I was surprised when…

That joy of tidying up thing: underwear edition

Today I decided it was time to unwedge my dresser drawers and get rid of all the clothing that wasn't "bringing me joy". I dug out all the shirts that had lost their joie de vivre - the ones from cheap shops that were light and woven by factories where toxic chemicals are regularly present.…

The 4 AM moths

  Sleeping has never been difficult for me - more it's waking up that seems the challenge - but I find that as I get older, waking up at 4 in the morning is becoming a regular thing. I've even seen more than a few dawns lately, something I thought I'd left behind. More of…