Tag Archives: nanoblomo

Feeling my way


I foolishly rented a 14th story apartment for the view. Often it’s glorious – the harbour opens invitingly out of my bedroom window, and lake MicMac winks at me from my den and living room windows. I often while away non-writing hours watching the rowing shells draw circles and figure eights around the islands in the middle of the lake, take a fantasy ride along with them, curse with them the motorboat people doing doughnuts in the middle of the lake.
But for the past two days, the fog has been so thick I can’t even see the trees reaching their arms up to me. Birds flying by appear suddenly, like fish in a curved aquarium. The cat startles, unsure of how these pigeons are appearing. My apartment is shrouded in grey light and I am compelled to descend and walk on the earth to prove to myself it still exists, solid and still autumnal.
I haven’t had a winter in my aerie yet, and I wonder how winter storms will feel here. The last time I was this high in winter, I was living in Ottawa in my first year of nursing, sharing an apartment with my dear nursing buddy and two cats. We’d gone house hunting together and, both not wanting to offend the other, had agreed on higher and higher apartments as they were offered. We each thought the other wanted to live higher up…
And so we spent many evenings carrying two protesting cats down 20 stories after the fire alarm went off. The place where we lived had a resident who would set off the alarm to get the cigarette butts people would leave behind while the alarm got shut off. We’d all be outside for half a cigarette or so, and she could gather up the leftovers as we rushed back in from the cold.
We didn’t smoke, thank gods, since we often had to climb back up the 20 stories or else wait hours with struggling cats in the lobby.
There’s something oddly disconnecting living shrouded in fog. Down lower, you have the shadows of buildings, trees, cars, people. Up this high, you can go for hours with nothing visible out of the window. It’s isolating, sound is muffled, you have no idea of the time, until the grey goes darker…
In the midst of the fog, I’m drifting through a nanowrimo novel. I’m following my character around, watching with bemusement as he talks to people, does different things, makes love, creates mayhem. The path forward is as foggy as the view out of my window, but I’m liking the experience of drift. It’s fun being surprised by what he does, what other characters do in response.
So I’ll take the fog for a while longer.

Fresh Ideas in Dating and Writing


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What IS that thing?

Those of you who know me well know that I’ve been having my adventures in the over 50 dating circuit. It’s madness out there.

Seriously.

If your marriage has even a whisper of hope, and there’s no abuse going on, take it from me and do what you can to stick out the dry spells.

Totally worth it. Dating stinks and if you ask anyone they’ll tell you true. All there is out here are people with bundles of unknown neuroses, and in that I include myself. At least with my ex, the neuroses were known quantities.

I used to believe I was having a good time. I blame excessive medication. Now the shades have fallen from my eyes, and I’m cool with the chum thing. Though I know I’ll miss kissing. I like kissing. And some other things…

Not to say I haven’t had some laughs enroute – some sad sighs, some giggles, some outright guffaws (and those of you who know what I mean when I say PCE know I’m not referring to you). The other morning I woke up and started laughing out loud, all by myself, in my packed up bedroom. Took me five minutes to stop.

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And you say you know how this contraption works?

I have a good friend who thinks there’s a sitcom in my adventures. I’d probably title it something to do with The Wizard of Oz, me being named Dorothy and all, and the fact that most, if not all, of these men who make me laugh think they are wizards in the bedroom.

It’s so tempting.

I would have to write under a pseudonym, of course, or I’d never date again. Although at this point, that might be okay…

Or be allowed to see my kids. Hahahahahah. By them.

But it’s such a fun idea…I have met all the characters from the movie already, even the door guard in the Emerald City (and yeah, I know he was really the Wizard but that’s kindof the point, no?)

Honestly, you couldn’t make some of this stuff up. And the visuals! I’m still rinsing out my eyes after the last ones. While snickering. Seinfeld and I could relate.

And, if nothing else, if I wrote it all down I could remember it all, and regale my friends in the home with my stories. Or shock the grandkids, if I ever have any. And if I’m allowed within 50 yards of them…

So, you like a little weed?

Being fresh


The theme for this month’s NaNoBloMo is “fresh”.
I am not feeling he freshness. I’m in the middle of moving and feeling both tired and grotty and I have the little stale milk chips from the now fresh fridge under my fingernails.
I’d like to crawl into my clean sheets but I’ve just hustled them through the washer in a last go round for my free washer and dryer – one of the disadvantages of my new place is that I have to share a washer. On the good side, I won’t have to listen to my dryer squeak for hours…so my sheets are damp and I am filthy and I am tired and smelly and wishing we could arrange moves like Matilda in Roald Dahl’s book and I could just gesture with my hand and things would fly into boxes.

I’ve always been considered “fresh”, though – a bit cheeky, a bit mouthy, somewhat out there when it comes to verbalizing my thoughts. I do try not to be unkind, but I seem to lack that inner monologue that lets me know when I go too far. Maybe I need one of those car beep beep horns like on that ad, a warning sound whenever I overstep?

How about you folks? Do you misspeak? Use inappropriate hyperbole? Overestimate the charm of your vocabulary and incisive wit?